i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
how does that bad decision feel?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
