my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
