Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
