This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
