Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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