It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have demons in me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
