I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
