no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
