Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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