I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
