I bet he comes in French.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
