Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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