Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
