I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
