What did we do last night that was yellow?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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