I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
