I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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