Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
high people should be assigned attendants
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
