At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize