I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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