Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
