Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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