I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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