I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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