I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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