Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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