Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
