I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
