so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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