Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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