My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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