i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
