Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
