I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
