Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
