Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
