Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
