Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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