i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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