she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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