he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
