Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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