I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
