So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
