1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
