your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
from now on my penis is your penis
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
