32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
