He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't notice because vodka
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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