Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
