I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
