ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
