Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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